It's astonishing what will make normally docile people slam their fist into a table and cry, "no more!"
I grabbed a burger at Hartsfield while I was waiting for my flight to NY. Afterward, as my mouth was burning with the salt of a burger and fries from one of those wretched dine-in places that only has plastic silverware, I swung by Ben and Jerry's for some ice cream.
As an aside, I have two favorite ice creams. First and foremost—particularly after a heavy meal—is mint chocolate chip. However, some places tend to offer gigantic chips in their chocolate chip ice cream. I don’t care for this. Best mint chocolate chip? Breyers or Baskin Robbins. You're welcome.
B&J is sadly of the "enormo chip" contingent, and so I went for strawberry. I had fabulous, charming service, and so I looked around for the tip jar. Not seeing one, I asked, "do you not have a tip jar?" The nice ice cream lady smiled shyly and reached behind the counter for a small jar. I put my dollar in and said, "You've got to keep that out, hon!"
She responded, "We did, but people kept stealing it. Employees and also customers!"
"Who robs the ice cream stand?" I asked, huffy. "that's awful!"
The woman behind me, overhearing a snippet, shrieked, "WHAT? What?"
I turned to her, and said, "They get robbed. People steal their tips."
This information sent the lady behind me into a complete, towering rage. "That's despicable! Have you prosecuted? I would raise holy hell! I think I might anyway!"
I left my dollar and my good wishes with the nice but beleaguered ice cream lady, and walked off to wolf down my small cup of strawberry ice cream. (Side note? Best strawberry ice cream comes from Haagen Daz.) The woman behind me was still going, pulling out her wallet to offer the ladies extra cash to try and make up for the fact that they had their tips stolen.
The funny thing is, I bet that both that woman and I would be far less moved by seeing these women in other more obvious distress. Hooking on a corner, for example. Fallen on hard times. But because they sell innocent pleasures, they sell ice cream, we are overcome with a protective impulse. NO ONE MESSES WITH MY DAIRY DEALER! NO ONE!
Labels: justice, lactose intolerance
It's astonishing what will make normally docile people slam their fist into a table and cry, "no more!"
10 Comments:
I think people - myself included - are most comfortable expressing rage on someone else's behalf only when they know it's not going to cost them anything. And they can feel better about themselves, too, because they see their rage as selfless and altruistic. And I can totally believe that somebody would steal the tip jar because people - myself NOT included - are scum bags.
ps btw - Ben & Jerry's Caramel Sutra is my all-time favorite. I also adore a really good vanilla. (Yes, if you scratch below my kinky exterior, you'll find that I'm quite vanilla at heart.)
I love the Freudian Slip (I'm assuming here) where you asked for the "CHIP" jar. I was so hoping that you were going to then say that the stunned employee reached behind the counter, pulled out the plastic jar containing extra chocolate chips, and offered some to you.
That would be such an awesome thing to be able to request and B&J's: "Um, can I please see the chip jar...and I also may need you to show me what you have in a gummy form..."
I love ice cream. :)
Chocolate almond.
I'll say something smart later.
Scottie--I fear you are all too correct. We will discuss further over drinkies this weekend! Woot!
GSR--HA! That was a complete slip, but it could be a brillian business plan as well. Who's in??
MA--That's an excellent choice. Could be a bit heavy in the wrong hands, but delicious.
I went for the oatmeal cookie stuff at B&J's two weeks back on a hangover afternoon.
Ice cream is the great emotional salve. Only natural to get defensive.
I like your tags-- it's true that lactose intolerance and justice are two very different things. Opposites, even.
Justice for ice cream scoopers! We should start an organization.
I think if someone stole the tip jar from those singing nut jobs at Cold Stone Creamery, I would cheer them on as they ran. Anything to stop the nonsense.
And I ditto the love for Caramel Sutra. Mmmm.
"I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's work, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad."
Sorry. You just got my brain clicking on one of the best rants of all time.
Claven--DAMN I love that oatmeal stuff the best. I ate it for breakfast for a few days during a rough patch in my life. It'll cure what ails you!
MG!--Unionize!!
JB--well, obviously. There's no singing. These were just your average scoopers.
CHIMMY!!!! Come home soon!!
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