Spring Fever

It's a glorious 70 degrees today in the Peach State! It's been outlandishly cold the past few weeks, so there has been much frolicking. The gladioli are in the florists, even, so I've gone a bit nuts myself and flooded my home with them. Glads are easily one of my top 5 fleurs. I'm a fool for the tall flowers. I'm down with stalky, people!

I'd say the spring fever has been affecting the medical community as well, but for the fact that I've been getting really cheeky doctors since I moved here. I went for my annual exam to the local gynocologist, and she had me taken care of so fast that my hair blew back. As she was snapping off her gloves, I laughingly said, "Gosh! I feel a little violated!" To which she immediately responded, "Want me to do it again?" [eyebrows in hairline, jaw drops, shocked head shake]

Today I had my "check my pale, pale flesh for cancer" appointment with my new dermo here in the land of peanuts, pecans, and peaches. A friend of the family is about to die from brain cancer--which started as a malignant skin thingy on her FOOT--so I've been really eager to get checked out.

In walks my young doctor fellow. He's brusque and speedy, but I don't much care. We chat about my meds, my skin, my antagonistic relationship with my epidermis, and my medical history. As I sit in my paper "gown," basically naked but for a paper towel, he asks me the first day of my last period. I said, "yesterday." He looks up briefly, smiles, and says, "congratulations." Without thinking, I respond, "Thanks, we're all really thrilled."

Who is the we? No idea! He startled me so much with his . . . roguishness . . . that I resorted to the royal we, perhaps? I think it was unsettling because a boy I used to date used to join me in an anti-fertility dance every time I had my period. "We have defeated Mother Nature again!" we'd sing gleefully. Apparently Dr. Sassy Skin does the same thing.

So once again, I'm left in a medical exam room wearing a bounty quicker picker upper and shaking my head like a perplexed cocker spaniel. What is it with this place?