Beach lessons

I'm mildly delirious, having driven back from the beach last night only to find Harry Potter waiting for me on my doorstep. So I stayed up and read it. Not bad! Sad that it's over, but not bad!

I'm in your sand dune, gonna pinch your toes!

Bullet points from my va-cay:
1. The Gulf is still lovely.
2. I am no longer capable of tanning well. My 45 still got me scorched in unfortunate regions. But that might have been due to the . . .
3. Raft Olympics! This is the fun of going to the beach with a co-ed group--weird sports develop. I excelled at raft body surfing, but was a failure at raft standing. My height is a double-edged sword. I am convinced that all my tummy burns are the result of paddling my raft all over creation like it was a surfboard and then collapsing on the beach. Damn raft olympics.
4. A lot of dudes my age still smoke a lot of weed. This might be a new addition to the list of things that turn me off instantaneously. I'm not really anti-pot or anti-drugs, but I'm over them. And people, you're basically no fun when you're high. Srsly. You bore me, bloodshot ones.
5. But guys are also fabulous. They're just so happy that there are girls around wearing bikinis and drinking beer with them that it's hard not to be happy with them.
6. Heat stroke is no joke! I got a wild hare and decided to ride the 4 miles to the state park on our island with one of the guys on our trip. So we rented those touring bikes that have no speeds and brake by pedaling backwards (mine was pink, his was blue) and we toodled down there. We looked like a scene from one of the Muppet movies. Great ride! then the sun came out, and we had to ride back on a slight (like 5 percent) incline. I didn't realize I was dying until my friend suggested a water break. I got off the bike and couldn't walk. I stumbled over to a palm tree and leaned against it, but succeeded in only sliding all the way down to the ground, where I had to put my head between my legs and breathe really slowly. Kudos to my pal for being completely unworried and nice, because I was mortified. At least I didn't barf on him and at least I had suggestive palm tree marks on my back. :)
7. Pina coladas are amazing, particularly when you toss every piece of fruit in the house in the blender. It's like a health shake, only one that messes you up instantly. Fruity rum. Glorious.
8. I'm amazed at how much shrimp a person can consume at the beach. I shelled about 47 pounds of shrimp this week, and ate a substantial portion of that. My cholesterols are surely in the 500 range today. Butter on that? yes, please. Garlic, too. Don't be skimpy. I also know how to make cocktail sauce now. I'm not sure why I never knew that it was so simple, but you'd think that my friends had figured out how to split the atom given my response.
8. Crabbing is HARD. Even harder when you're doing it at night while carrying a beer and a net and your friend is screaming at you to "flank him! don't run straight at him! flank him!" I have actual scars from falling while sprinting after a crab in the middle of the night.
9. My claims of deliciousness over the years were finally proven false. Everyone else on the trip was either bitten by a crab or stung by a jellyfish. I am unscathed.
10. The beach works. I came home to find that there had been a tremendous rainstorm and there are water stains all over my 100 year old pine floors. Yet, I am unmoved and not completely wigging out. I simply came home, photographed the entire region and my sad furniture, and settled in to read Harry Potter. I am satisfied. I will teach my last class today, punish my landlords, and then start packing up for my new apartment.