Daily Update
Today in my Atlanta paper I learned the following:
1. Georgia is currently neither the fattest nor the stupidest state. (My first response? The catty thought that I've ruined their average by moving here. Ha! Smell the hubris! Hahahahaa!) We're number 12 in fatness (take THAT, Mississippi!) and only 46th on the SATs. (Although apparently everyone tanked the latest SATs, which I find hilarious since that crip writing test is now included. You'd have to be really dumb . . . oh wait.) Sonny Perdue's response to GA's move from LAST PLACE to only near last place was classic, and totally apt for a governor running for re-election: "'We've jumped over [Pennsylvania, Florida, South Carolina and Hawaii], and nobody's going to take that away from us,' he said." NOBODY!
2. Mayor Bloomburg endorses Shakira. I thought this was for public office and nearly fell off my stool. But no, it's for a music video award. Honestly . . . above the fold this news is!?
And finally, what made me spit miniwheats, the most popular link of the day:
3. Kids Watch As Clown Is Crushed to Death. It was only a matter of time. (Just to explain, since this makes me sound hateful, I did not spit wheatage because of a clown being crushed. I spit wheatage because the headline makes it sound as though the kids sat there and watched it happen and smiled a little bit in their darkest heart of hearts. That's funny stuff. Dead clowns? Less so, but only by a smidge.)
posted by Megarita @ 9:16 AM
11 Comments:
Indiana= 8th fattest. Yeah, boy-eeeeee! (in Flavor Flav voice)
And that clown thing... yikes. I didn't read the article, but that headline definitely evokes a blackly comedic scene...
Maryland didn't even make the cut. I feel thinner already!
You are talking about frosted miniwheats, yesno?
I love how your paper adds the feel-good part by saying that BMI doesn't account for muscle mass. As though the folks who aren't obese couldn't figure that out. Giving rise to comments of "check out my abs."
Doesn't everyone hate clowns? I would imagine everyone would cheer at this news.
MG--Midwesterness is a burden for plumpitude in some cases.
MA--10 bucks says that they cooked the books.
I66--of course.
Clifford--Two words: big boned.
Cube--I did, but that only exacerbated the cereal spittage. Glad to know you're on board.
It's nice to know that as crappily as I did on the math SAT's (and I did crappily, with a capital K), I still did better than Georgia.
At least when they say "big boned," its with the Cartman voice!
Shanonymous said: Freakin lazy kids.... just sittin' there, watching clowns die.
dead clowns good. live clowns .. scarey. Besides, isn't there a little bit of you that's sure that the kids do have dark dark hearts, the sort that would delight to see their teacher/lecturer slowly nibbled to death by butterflies while they watched?
I wouldn't mind seeing that since I appear to forget there is a real person underneath all the makeup because clowns freak me out so much. Does that make me a horrible horrible person?
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